Running towards positivity

Today, I ran for the first time in months. I would not consider myself a “runner” by any means, but this morning was so beautiful and I was feeling a little down so I decided to go for a run. Something about running makes me feel strong and healthy especially since my diagnosis with kidney disease. I figure that if I can run a mile (or 2 or 3) than I cannot be that sick.
Generally, when I run, I will set a goal for myself and map out where I will go ahead of time. I do not time myself, but instead try to focus on distance and endurance. When I started off this morning, I felt great. I was motivated and excited for the challenge ahead of me. About a third of the way through, however, I started to become tired and weak. Reaching my original goal seemed a long way off, and I really wanted to quit and just walk the rest of the way. So I began to set smaller goals for myself. Just run to that tree or the next stop sign. Then another one–just make it to the corner. After a little while, the feeling passed and I was able to keep running without wanting to quit. And eventually I reached my long term goal. I felt so accomplished, not only for finishing, but for pushing through, even when it was hard.
As I was running, I realized that these same principles can be applied to goals in life. When working towards a new goal, the initial part of the journey is exciting. But sometimes life gets in the way and the original goal seems difficult and almost impossible to reach. Focusing on the long term goal at those times can be overwhelming. So I have learned to take it one day at a time and shift focus from the long term goal to smaller, achievable goals. When I started college, I was excited to excel and conquer my 6-year PharmD program. In my fourth year, my dad died, and just passing my classes seemed impossible. So I took it one test at a time. I told myself to just focus on passing this test. Then the next one. And (with a lot of prayers) I ended up passing all my classes that year. More recently, with my health issues, I have been trying to apply this same idea. When the journey ahead seems too daunting, I am looking for short term successes to keep me going.
Sometimes when I finish a run and look at my mile tracker, I am disappointed by my distance. I beat myself up for not going a little bit further. But one lesson I am learning through my disease is to give myself a break. I have always been very competitive and a perfectionist and subsequently am very hard on myself. Recently, however, I am trying to be more positive in my thinking towards myself. If I only ran 1 ½ miles today instead of 2, that is okay because it is 1 ½ miles more than yesterday. Instead of focusing on the things I did not finish around the house at the end of the day, I praise myself on all of the things I did complete. I may not be where I would like to be in my faith, but I am closer to God than I was a year ago. Focusing on the accomplishments instead of the failures is creating a more positive mindset and a more positive life.
One of the best things about my run this morning was being able to enjoy the sunshine and the beauty of spring. Similarly, in life, no matter how far you go, remember to enjoy the journey.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1