Hope changes everything

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Hope is such a precious and powerful gift. I picture it as that first little sprout that comes up from the ground in spring. Although it is small, it promises that something beautiful is coming. Hope is what makes it possible to stay positive in the face of the most impossible situations. It is the promise that, if you can just hang on for one more day, something better might come tomorrow.

When I was diagnosed with dense deposit disease, the first thing I did was read all the information on the disease that I could find. I poured over every case study, clinical trial, and Uptodate article, and they all came to the same conclusion. This disease has no cure, no proven treatment, and kidney failure is almost guaranteed. The more I learned, the more I realized how hopeless my situation was. I became so depressed because my future looked so dark and without any promise that it could ever be better.

Even though that was only 3 months ago, it feels like a lifetime. Since then, God has given me what modern medicine could not – hope. Reading through the Bible, I have seen Him heal countless people from sickness and rescue others from every impossible situation. The whole book is a testimony of how He is faithful to the ones He loves. I can cling to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I can stay positive because God is in this with me. And He has given me little sprouts of hope along the way to keep me going – I was able to find a doctor who is knowledgeable about my disease (not an easy task because it is so rare); my kidney levels have been relatively stable for the past 6 months; my kidneys are functioning better than they should based on how scarred they looked on my biopsy. This God-given gift of hope has changed everything for me. Just knowing that there is a chance that tomorrow could be better has helped me to keep a positive outlook on life. I know He can heal me, and I know that even if He doesn’t, He has something even better in store for me.

In my previous post, Having Faith, I described the struggle I was facing with having complete faith for a healing from my disease. I still have not found all the answers, but I have realized that maybe hope is the first step towards having faith. Hope is believing that something can happen, and faith takes it to the next level and believes that it definitely will happen. So maybe I am not at the point of absolute faith yet, but I have hope which is a lot more than I had 3 months ago and it is a step in the right direction.

Recently, I have been obsessed with the song “Even If” by MercyMe because I think it really describes where I am in life right now. The chorus says, “I know You’re able and I know You can, save through the fire with Your mighty hand, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone.” I know God is able and can completely heal me right this moment if He wants to, but even if He doesn’t, my hope is in Him alone.