Wonderfully Made

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16

As a 26 year-old with a chronic kidney disease, I look at my husband, friends, and siblings living their normal, healthy lives, and think what is wrong with me? Why do I have countless doctor’s appointments, bloodwork, and medications? Why doesn’t my body function normally? I struggle with the feeling that I am somehow defective because of my disease.

Psalm 139:13-16 is one of the first passages that I read when I started my daily devotionals looking for physical healing. Although I have read the same verses many times over the years, in the context of my current struggle, they took on new meaning. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” My body, even with my disease; my kidneys, even though they don’t function at 100%; everything about my physical self is fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator of the universe. They are exactly how they are supposed to be regardless of what the doctors say. “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” My life, although not what I expected, was mapped out and planned perfectly before I was even born. Everyday, whether good or bad, is a part of my unique story. By accepting my disease as a part of the wonderfully created me, I have gained a fresh perspective on myself and my life and started on my journey to mental healing.