With my kidney disease, there are not really any outward indicators of disease progression or resolution. I have my blood drawn every few weeks, and, based on the results, we have an idea of how my kidneys are functioning. In February, we were very excited that my kidney level came back better than it had since my diagnosis. I praised God that all of our prayers were being heard and maybe I was going to receive my healing miracle. Recently, I had my labs drawn again, and this time the results were very discouraging. The levels had risen back to where it had been initially. I was devastated. Why would…

“I remember well my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.” Lamentations 3:19-25 When I read the first part of this passage, I was like, wow that is 100% me.…

Waking up from a dream about my dad is usually bittersweet. Generally, the dream itself is nothing extraordinary, just us doing something routing at home with my siblings. Even in the dream, however, it feels as though we haven’t seen each other in a while. Then I wake up and reality sinks in. I have not seen or talked to my dad in over 5 years. He passed away suddenly of a heart attack, and I still struggle with regret that I never had to chance to say goodbye. I don’t think I will ever understand the reason God took him from us so soon and without warning. But God…

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16 As a 26 year-old with a chronic kidney disease, I look at my husband, friends, and siblings living their normal, healthy lives, and think what…

This is the story of the beginning of my journey and my inspiration for blogging. In September 2017, a few weeks after my 26th birthday, I was admitted to the ER with chest pains and ended up being hospitalized overnight for severe hypertension (high blood pressure). My labs showed that my kidneys were only functioning at about 50% at that time, categorizing me as having stage 3 kidney disease. A few months later, after extensive testing and a renal biopsy, I was diagnosed with dense deposit disease (DDD). DDD is a rare kidney disease that affects only 2-3 in a million people. There is no cure, no guaranteed treatment options,…